Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Interesting pastimes hardly ever make it as 'worthy job aspirations'... and this is accepted by most! The other day an old friend of mine described to me how his boss threw at him a tower of boxes in a rage, right before he quit. Yet another friend mentioned her fuming rage as she was exiting a 15-minute staff meeting about developments at work.

Neither of those people of course is particularly fond of their day jobs, nor are their day jobs in any way remotely linked to what they actually like to do when they get a chance. But why are we simply resigned to the fact that our 9 - 17:00 existence (well not 17:00... 20:00 for most) is something to be viled and resented. It does not have to be, yet it is... and what is worse we are ok with it, because viled or not come the end of the month and we sigh a big sigh of relief that we are not destitute for another 2-3 weeks.

But there was a time and even working was fun and I remember it clearly! It was not even that long ago for most of us. It is not ancient history or some myth told around the office! Getting up in the morning and hurrying up in the shower so we could go to work. From what I hear, I was lucky to have ever lived through such a period at all, because most people have not... And now what? I am supposed to be ok with joining "most people"? I think not... I try every way that I can to make the most of my days and recapture a sense of fulfillment, achievement and even success, I dare say, which has long departed from my everyday pantheon of feelings and emotions at least in the workplace. But I am failing or I think I am.

And when we fail we are faced with the obvious question: do I keep on trying or change directions?

Monday, 28 September 2009

consolidate... or perish...

Well, I always thought that doors closing, windows opening, is all part of life. But open too many windows and suddenly you have a draft. So there is no winning... but I must say I prefer a draft than second-hand, stale air! There is a lot going on you see and when there is a lot going on I tend to lose focus but perhaps this is for the best. Focus and I do not really go hand-in-hand, I might as well admit it now and get it over and done with. So it is best not to focus too long on one thing and when I have the luxury to do that I am happiest.

I will never concentrate on one thing, that much I have gathered. I will have 2,3,4 projects on the go and hope they will work out. The problem is constantly finding new areas of stimulus... and surely this must be a finite list of items that "can raise for flag" for a long time. But for the time being, something is going well... something has given me wings... and like Daidalus I might crash but it feels like a good ride..

Monday, 21 September 2009

Somewhere not far away, actually very near from here, life is carrying on... right now... but rather differently... weekends away are normal. We have them quite often. Escaping in the heart of September is a luxury I agree but we had to use our free air-mails so the Greek isles seemed ideal.

There is something to be said about island life... our life away from the city. They wake up, go about their business, have fights, love, hate, eat, sleep, have sex, get up again and another day begins but there is something different. The constant hum of the waves crushing, the lack of connectedness, the feeling of solitude unique to an islander. This is therapy in the shape of a land mass! I feel like I spent the weekend at a parallel universe... where i was convinced that life continued in the universe i came from but it did not really seem tangible, it was so far away from me.

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

one of life's little jokes... routine

I was told that I need a break, that the routine might be getting to me... I was also told that I pay attention to small things too much and let them get to me.

The fact of the matter is that as we grow older putting up with routines is what we get to do best. In fact I do not mind my routine at all, it is the breaking of my routine that I mind and affects me negatively. And routine is all about small things, it is all about a succession of small things leading to the bigger whole. So of course small things get to me, they always have. But people get to me too... more people than ever before in fact and that kind of worries me.

What I know that is am going through a pretty cynical time right now although I never meant to; it is just that I need some sort of defence against the ineptitude of certain coworkers, the stupidity of fellow drivers, the injustice that surrounds me all around. All this of course should be part of the routine by now, but I refuse to assimilate them, you see... that is the problem! Accepting is approving and I cannot do that..

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

I go to this gym in my neighbourhood, nice enough place, known the people for years. There is one guy who refuses to say hello to me in there! It baffles me! He is there early in the morning as I am, talks to everyone apart from me. This morning it was the same. I think I need to fight the overwhelming desire I have for pleasantness and simply not care. However, it seems so intriguing to me and I cannot help but wonder. I should understand it; maybe he does not like my face, maybe he does not like the way I work out :) but in any case he pretty much refuses to talk to me...

For me of course that is a huge deal.

Friday, 4 September 2009

OK, so you have a two-year old son with a birthday coming up! The whole house will be decked out and ready to receive guest, McQueen theme aplenty but I cannot help but wonder... does it really mean anything to him? I am pretty sure he will understand that there is a big deal, especially with all the people around interfering with his normal schedule but in actual fact, I am not entirely certain that this is even what he would have liked and that kind of scares me!

I mean the point is that he has a great day, a special day... after all birthdays should be special! Especially when you are two and you derive pleasure from a bowl of cereal. But why do we find it so difficult to connect to a 2-year old brain, when we were in that exact same position just a few short decades ago?

About Me

There is not much to say that is not covered in my posts... this blog was created because, well because writing has been a passion of mine and communicating is high up there on the list too...