Monday, 31 May 2010

Happy Monday... albeit with a blocked nose! I did manage to visit the beach having a cold, sneezing and with my nose running... little son decided that he is half-dolphin, and I could not shutter the dream! There must be a reason why we feel so at ease in water.. but that is not the subject of this blog-entry!

Not sure what the subject of this blog-entry is to be honest, however, I have to cherish these entries, resembling a sort of half-hearted diary open to the world.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

So I am writing again... not only that I am finding myself writing a lot, and when I am not writing I think about it. I think about it almost all the time and I feel like a ray of sun travelling through tunnels seeking a way out into the open. All I see is inspiration, all I feel is opportunities and ways to further develop. I guess that is what happens when the cocoon finally breaks. I have ignored or put aside, my deep attraction to this medium for so many years; my eagerness to put pen to paper without any preassumption about talent. The truth of the matter is that although (naturally) I would like to be considered talented it is not in fact my first priority. I do no think that people are in awe when they read my stuff and most of it needs a lot more work, something I generally do not support as a method once something is written. However, the therapeutic sense I get when I write or plot in my mind the next scene, does not hinge on the outcome in any way.

I still remember one of my first essays in school about Rain... I remember letting myself go and just let it pour all out and how the teacher reacted to this literary undertaking. She was surprised. So was I. And that was it, less than three decades later following 1 novel about 10 short stories, 2 plays and the conceptualisation of a TV series, 2 blogs and countless essays I still feel like that boy handing in his essay and waiting...

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

My, my, my.... births, weekends, mud, hospitals, coughing, food, lemon pie, steaks and wine... lots of it... WHAT A WEEKEND!! And this week is continuing with the impetus of the last few days.

Friday, 21 May 2010

I have just realised something... this past year has been very turbulent, shocking in many ways however, I am going through a very productive phase! A lot of things going on but who can say how they will end up... so these are not only turbulent times but they are juicy ones, full of creative spirit. I am writing once again after years and it feels wonderful!

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Have a wonderful Tuesday... the sun is shining, the prospects do not seem to materialise, the country is going under but somehow I cannot shake the feeling that I did the right move when I did it. I still believe in our ability to control our lives, or at least die trying! There is no other way...

Last weekend I sat down with my director friend and we discussed my vision for my play. i could not believe it, he was picking my brains about how i would like the leading lady to be, her essence. I felt like crying... i still do!! I cannot describe what this means to me, and i get all tingly imagining opening night... i do so hope it happens and i get to enjoy it all...

Monday, 17 May 2010

Last Friday was a monumental day... it was a day of results, effort, direction, prospects and some pain, due to the injury in my sides! What I find phenomenal is that indeed a day-off can become a few hours of greatness! Because that is how I felt, great. Getting things done, tying up loose ends, creating some new ones, that's what it was all about.

The weekend was a different story but I have come to the conclusion that weekends will never fulfill their destiny again unless we accept, my wife and I that is, that weekends are not necessarilly time-off but rather time spent. Time spent on creating a family, including fighting, making up, making out, patience testing, outing and negotiating... sounds like a family does it not?

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Today I am regrouping... after a hellish last week and a hellish Monday, which culminated in a car crash with a Moldovian motorcyclist, today I feel like there might be a light... somewhere. I did not manage to squeeze in a run this morning but i do feel like I am ready to face the world. Shaving will do that to a man! So I shaved, I put gel on my hair and a blue shirt and inspite of car crashes, unyielding work pressures and a general sense of unrest, I decided that today I regroup.

Thursday, 6 May 2010

"write about you, that's what people find interesting!" indeed, I had started this blog writing about me... not sure what happened; i think after a while, I started writing to me, like a letter to myself.

I heard one of the most significant people in my life shout at me yesterday "do you really think the world revolves around you??"... and it was a genuine question. It warranted an answer; it was not clear basically. And that scared me; if I give that impression, then what chance do I have? How can I convince anyone about anything? I really do not think that the world revolves around me, but is that the impression I give off?

It is a pretty sad one.

This morning I woke up in my usual "don't wake the baby up mode" with my usual stomach ache too. I was thinking that I have turned feline in my lack-of-noise-making! I can make a cup of coffee with the minimal amount of decibels produced. Oh it is holy time in the morning, and the earlier the better, all is quiet, all is just starting to wake up. And there am I with my soundless coffee, and my stomach ache wondering about the day, worrying about everything and wishing that a different day had started. A creative one, in a place not ravaged by all this anger...

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

So I went to Lidl last night... it was a big step for me and my family! I kid you not... it took effort! I have tried it twice before and i literally walked out before even making it half way down the first aisle.

I mean we hear about German efficiency but Lidl is not all the efficient and even though i have never lived in a communist regime i expect mid-80s Sofia supermarkets had a similar feel to them. Frankly i did not like it.. i did not expect to like it... but it was 'price efficient'. So will I go again? i hate to say yes, and i hate to say that I need to save money so probably yes... dammit...

Monday, 3 May 2010

Spring has sprung, it was evident over the weekend. I felt younger, went out, held hands, took my time shaving and was not rushing around. It was good... Saturday showed me what it means to have friends around, even those you fight with and sometimes resent, I often forget how important they are.

Lazy afternoons and racy evenings... that is what we need in life... i am almst sure!

About Me

There is not much to say that is not covered in my posts... this blog was created because, well because writing has been a passion of mine and communicating is high up there on the list too...